Spongebob and Squidward Are Watching The End of Silliness?/Transcript

Squidward: All right, look. So far today, and it's not even 2:00 yet, that year release in 1998.

SpongeBob: And you wrote that number on a chalkboard.

Squidward: Yes!

SpongeBob: Why?

Squidward: [pauses for a second] I have no idea.

SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, there's no way to cancel Silly Songs while Larry is upset.

Squidward: Au contraire. [turns on a TV]

SpongeBob: What's this?

Squidward: [holds VeggieTales: The End of Silliness VHS] It's a sing-along compilation that shows silly songs is cancelled until further notice.

''[Squidward pulls off the cover and it shows a The End of Silliness? VHS tape, and Squidward inserts The End of Silliness? VHS onto a VCR.]''

''[the video begins to play at an ice cream parlor that's modeled after Edward Hoppers' famous 1942 painting "Nighthawks" in a dark rainy night. Inside, we see Jimmy Gourd as an ice cream man cleaning plates behind the counter, and Larry the Cucumber''', sitting and sleeping next to a glass window, alone and fidgeting. There're three almost empty sundae glasses on his table: two pink and one green. Larry appears to be having a nightmare of some kind. We fade into it.]''

Archibald Asparagus (from "His Cheeseburger"): Ex-ex-ex-excuse me, I have an announcement. (continues reading the letter) ...and as the result of the disastrous outcome of the previous silly song..."

Larry (from "The Song of the Cebu"): Boy is riding with cebu... Um... No wait. (No wait.)

Archibald (from "TSotC"): (Th-th-) This is quite disappointing... (-disappointing... -disappointing...)

[We fade back to Larry, still dreaming...]

Larry: No. No!

[...then back to his nightmare...]

Archibald (from "HC"): Management has decided (-decided -decided...) that other performers... (-performers...)

Mr. Lunt (from "HC"): ''Cause you're his cheeseburger His yummy cheeseburger... ''

Archibald: Silly songs is cancelled... (Silly songs is cancelled- -is cancelled...) until further notice. (-cancelled...) Silly songs is cancelled... (-cancelled... -cancelled... -cancelled...)

SpongeBob: Oh No! It Couldn't Handle it.

[...and back to Larry, who's fidgeting more vigorously.]

Larry: Jibee! Jibee! Jibee! Nnnnn! Nnnnnn! No wait! Nnnnnn! Jibee! Jibee!

[Jimmy begins to take notice of Larry's spastic squeaking and fidgeting.]

Larry: Nnnnnnn! Cebu! Nnnnn!

Jimmy: Hey.

Larry: Jibee!

Jimmy: Hey-hey, Mr. You okay?

Larry: Jibee! Nnnnnn! Nnnn! Jibee!

Jimmy: Mr.! Wake up, Mr.! Mr.?!

''[The title "Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness?" and "The End of Silliness: More Really Silly Songs" comes up as Jimmy rushes over to see if Larry's okay.]''

''The show's theme song fades in at the point Larry starts playing the tuba. The lyrics appear at the bottom with the lyrics in yellow, which turns white on cue. The white lyrics "VeggieTales" appear on the start of the montage, that also applies to "Cauliflower", and "VeggieTales!". However, the last lyric fades out at the end of the song.]]''

''[We fade back to Jimmy and Larry. Larry has an ice pack on his head. He also has a cup of coffee in front of him.]''

Jimmy: You had me worried there for a while, buddy. You okay?

Larry: (Sniffs) Yeah. I'm okay.

Jimmy: Well...can I getcha anything? A push-up? (Larry shakes his head) Waffle cone? (Larry shakes his head again) Cup full of sprinkles?

Larry: No. I don't need anything.

Jimmy: You, uh...wanna talk about it?

[Larry looks up then looks over at a jukebox with a TV screen.]

Larry: Does that thing work?

Jimmy: Mm-hmm.

Larry: G-7.

Jimmy: Huh?

Larry: G-7. Press G-7! (Jimmy hops over to the jukebox) It all started a while back when I was singing this song and... Well... I don't know! It just... kinda got messed up!

[Jimmy presses G-7 and the TV turns on to reveal the Silly Songs with Larry'' title card for "TSotC", as the music starts. He hops away to the right. The camera zooms toward the TV.]''

Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings, a silly song.

Lyrics
Announcer: And now it's time for silly songs with Larry. The part of the show were Larry come out and sings a silly song. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Larry the Cucumber presents, in a sequential image, stereophonic, multimedia event, The Song of the Cebu.

Larry: Ce-bú!

This is a song about a boy... a song about a little boy and his cebús... a song about a little boy and his three cebús...

The little boy who had... a sick cebú... a sad cebú... and a mute cebú.

And also a hippo. Um... um... this is me at the airport. This is my aunt Ruth. This is me at a bullfight. This is me fighting the bull.

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Ooo!

Larry: This is me and the bull.

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Ahh!

Larry: This is me and the bull and... I think that's the bull's cousin. He's a cebú!

Archibald: Hold it! You call this a multimedia event? This is a slide projector and a bed sheet! And what on earth is a cebú, anyway?

Larry: It's kind of like a cow. See?

Archibald: Yes. Well, very good. This could be interesting. Carry on!

Larry: Ce-bú! Sing it with me! Ce-bú!

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Ce-bú!

Larry: Boy is rid-ing with ce-bú

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Boy is rid-ing with ce-bú

Larry: Into town in his ca-noe

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Into town in his ca-noe

Larry: Sick cebú is row-ing and sneez-ing.

Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo,

achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo,

achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo

Larry: Hippo chew-ing on bam-boo

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Hippo chew-ing on bam-boo

Larry: Can't see boy and three ce-bus

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Can't see boy and three ce-bus

Larry: Sad ce-bú is row-ing and cry-ing

Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo,

boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo,

boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo

Larry: Ce-bú!

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Ce-bú!

Larry: Ce-bú!

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Ce-bú!

All: Achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo,

achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, ce-bú!

Larry: Hip-po seen by mute ce-bú

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Hip-po seen by mute ce-bú

Larry: Tries to tell the ot-her two

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Tries to tell the ot-her two

Larry: Mute cebú is wav-ing and grun-ting

Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm,

mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm,

mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Larry: Uh-oh.

Archibald: Wait! What happens next?

Larry: Um ...

Archibald: Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute cebú successful in communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers? Is the boy injured? Why is the sad cebú sad? Is the canoe wood or aluminum?

Larry: Oh look! There's me and Bob at Sea World! Oh, wow.

Jimmy, Jerry, & Junior: Ooo!

Larry: Forgot about that one. There's me and that bull again.

Archibald: You can't just start a song and leave it hanging like that! You know, I've come to expect a lot more from you. This is quite disappointing! I'm going to have to speak to Bob about this.

Larry: Oh look, a cebú!

Larry, Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: Ce-bu!

Larry: No, wait ... that's a water buffalo.

Jimmy, Jerry & Junior: No more song about ce-bú!

Need another verse or two!

Audience is stan-ding and lea-ving,

Bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo,

bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo moo moo moo

Jimmy: I want my money back!

Jerry: Yeah, that'd be ... that'd be good.

[The shot fades to the start of the sing-along version of the song, and goes from there.]

''[Once the song is done, Jimmy laughs but stops when he sees Larry's stern looking face. Larry's not wearing his ice pack anymore.]''

Larry: What, do you think that's...funny?

Jimmy: Yeah. Ah... Oh. Uh... Uh, no. No. Wow. Eh, heh. That's gotta hurt.

Larry: Yeah, but It wasn't my fault! (flops his head onto the table.) They got'em mixed-up at photo hut!

Jimmy: W-wow. It, uh... Heh. It-it happens. But-but it's not a big deal. So you messed up a song. It's not the end of the world.

''[Archibald, disguised as a mysterious man, and a woman in a red dress enter the ice cream parlor. The man's face is obscured by the turned up coller of his trench coat. The man sits down and places his breifcase on the counter.]''

Jimmy: I'll be with you in a minute, folks. What you need is a little something to cheer you up. (Walks over to the jukebox again.) And- and I've got just the thing. (Presses a few buttons) There. That oughta do it. (The TV shows the title card for "Promised Land" from "Josh and the Big Wall!", as he hops away from the jukebox.)

Jimmy: What'll it be, Mr.?

[On the TV, the title card cuts to the start of the song.]

Pa Grape (from "J&tBW!"): It's time?

Scooter (from "J&tBW!"): It's time?

Jimmy (from "J&tBW!"): Did he just say "It's Time?"

Philip Pea (from "J&tBW!"): ''We didn't have a lot of fun in the desert We did-n't have ♪ ♪ a lot of fun ♪ ♪ in the sand''

Other Pea (from "J&tBW!"): But saddle up your cow

Philip: It's all behind us now

All (from "J&tBW!"): Because we're going to the Promised Land!!

[The rest of the song continues on fullscreen.]

(Afterwards, two more songs played: "Good Morning George" (from "Rack, Shack and Benny") and "The Thankfulness Song" (from "Madame Blueberry").]

[After those above mentioned songs, Larry sniffs a little.]

Larry: Yeah. Maybe I should just try to be thankful for the time I did have with my silly songs. Bye, silly songs. Nice knowing you. It isn't any trouble just to S-M-I-L-E...

Jimmy: Okay. Wrong song. Bad timing. A-ah... These'll be great. You'll see. Oh! This one is so funny! (Laughs) Hang on! Daddy's Coming!

[The camera zooms to the TV which shows the title card for "Keep Walking" from "J&tBW!"]

Pea guard (from "J&tBW!): O-oooh. That's be great idea. You go head and keep walking!

''[It fades to the footage, and the rest continues from there. Afterwards two more songs plays: "Big Things Too" (from Dave and the Giant Pickle") and "Stuff Mart Rap" (from "MB"). After the last song in this section ends, it irises out serving into...]''

Jimmy: (Laughs) Oh, that cracks me up! Bungee bungee bungee-wungee-fungee... (Laughs until he stops laughing and notices that Larry's still not cheering up)

Larry: I hope those guys didn't get hurt falling on their heads like that. You think they got hurt?

Jimmy: Oh. Gee, buddy. I don't know. They were wearing their helmets.

Larry: Yeah. They were wearing their helmets. That's good.

Jimmy: Look. Pal. M-maybe it's none of my business, but... why are you so down? You wanna tell me what's going on?

SpongeBob and Squidward: Oh No!

Archibald: I'll tell you what's going on! (Turns to reveal himself. Larry looks shocked then grumpy. He hops over to the jukebox.) Perhaps this will clear things up. (Looks grumpily at Larry. They both make funny faces, then looks grumpy again and selects a song: "HC".)

SpongeBob: Wow, guess you don't cancel silly song on this episode.

[Cuts to the start of the "HC" song from "MB", without the fade-in at the start]

Lyrics
(music starts playing banjo)

Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.

Archibald: (offscreen) Just a moment! Wait! Stop talking! (music stops, and Archibald shows up with a letter) Excuse me, I have an announcement. (clears throat, and reads out a letter) "Because of the high standards we on this show strive to adhere to, and as a result of the disastrous outcome of the previous silly song, management has decided to review compositions from other performers for this segment. Several songs were screened and we chose one based on the applicants sense of artistry and all around propriety." Thank you.

(Larry looks confused)

Larry: So what are you saying?

Archibald: (offscreen) I'm saying (onscreen) that silly songs is cancelled until futher notice.

Larry: (looks behind on the bear trap) Oh, yeah?! Well, then how am I supposed to get out of this bear trap?

Archibald: I'm sure you'll figure something out.

(pea worker shows up and pulls out the new title card)

Announcer: And now it's time for Love Songs with Mr. Lunt, the part of the show where Mr. Lunt and sings a love song.

Lunt: He said to her, "I'd like a cheeseburger

And I might like a milkshake as well."

She said to him, "I can't give you either."

And he said, "Isn't this Burger Bell?"''

She said," Yes it is but we're closed now.

But we open tomorrow at 10."

He said, " I am extremely hungry.

But I guess I can wait until then."

Cause you're his cheeseburger.

His yummy cheeseburger.

He'll wait for yo-u, yeah.

He will wait for yo-u.

Oh, you are his cheeseburger.

His tasty cheeseburger.

He'll wait for yo-u.

Oh, he will wait for you.

(changes to morning)

He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise.

He may have dozed off once or twice.

When he spotted a billboard for Denny's,

Bacon and Eggs for half price!

How could he resist such an offer?

He really needed something to munch!

Cheeseburger please do not get angry,

Chorus: Don't get angry,

He'll eat and be back here for lunch.

Cause you're his cheeseburger.

His precious cheeseburger.

Be back for yo-u.

He'll be back for yo-u.

Won't be so long cheeseburger.

Oh, lovely cheeseburger

Be back for yo-u.

Oh, he'll be back for you.

Because he loves you cheeseburger

With all his heart!

And there ain't nothin' gonna tear

You tw-o apart!

And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese,

He would get down on his hands and knees

To see if someone accidentally dropped

Some cheese in the dirt

And he would wash it off for you!

Wipe it off for you!!

Clean that dirty cheese off

Just for you!!!

You are his cheeeeeeese-burrrrrrrrr-geeeeeeeeeeeeeer...

Archibald: I thought you were going to sing about growing up in Connecticut!

Announcer: This has been Love Songs with Mr. Lunt. Tune in next time to hear Mr. Lunt say...

Mr. Lunt: ...I grew up in New Jersey.

[After the above-mentioned song, Jimmy looks at the "Love Songs with Mr. Lunt" card on the TV screen, then turns to Archibald.)]

Jimmy: (Gasps) You don't mean...?

Archibald: Yes! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!

[Larry gently bangs his head on the table.]

Jimmy: That's despicable. (Larry still doing that) I'd feel that way too if somebody took my songs away.

[Larry nods in agreement]

Archibald: It's just that... I... Well... Surely you can understand my position. I was simply acting in the public's best interest. We do have standards to uphold, you know. (Jimmy looks scornfully at him) Yes. I see. Well... But then, I got these. (Opens his briefcase. Larry looks on as the rain outside stops. He pulls out a pile of papers, takes one piece of paper, and reads it out loud.) Ahem!

"We, the undersigned, believe that Archibald Asparagus should forgive and forget the Song of the Cebu incident and return Silly Songs with Larry to regular Veggie programming, signed 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota and even someone in Moose Lake."

Larry: Moose lake?

Archibald: Yes. Moose lake.

Larry: (Happy) Wow. Moose lake.

Archibald: The people have spoken. I'm afraid I have no other choice but to hereby decree that silly songs is henceforth reinstated. Effective immediately! Which is what, I suppose, henceforth means. But no matter! Go on! Sing with all the silliness you can muster! (Hops onto the counter) Let the world know, yea unto its farthest reaches, including, but not limited to, Moose Lake, that this is not the end of silliness, no, quite the contrary. Silliness has just begun! (Slips and falls off the counter. His head pops up from behind.) But try not to be too silly. Please?

SpongeBob: Larry, You got This Silly Songs back.

''[Larry gives Archibald a thumbs up look, gets up and hops over to the jukebox. He pulls out a disc entitled "Silly songs With Larry: The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps". He puts the disc in. An arm of the jukebox places the disc in the player and "TYVotA" plays as the camera pans up to reveal "SSwL"'s title card on the TV. It fades to the song.]''

(The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps Starts)

Quartet Singers: ''Hm, hm, hm, hm. There lived a man so long ago his memory's but faint. Was not admired. Did not inspire like president, or saint. Yet people came from far and near with their afflicted pets. For a special cure, they knew for sure, wouldn't come from other vets. Woooah-ooh...''

Larry: ''This is a song, for your poor sick penguin. He has a fever and his toes are blue. But if I sing to your poor sick penguin, he will feel better, in a day or two. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo.Ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de-doo!''

(Penguin spits out thermometer)

Pa Grape: (to Junior) ''He's gone a little loopy, in case you hadn't heard. Here's a couple penicilin for your sickly, arctic bird.''

Quartet Singers: ''Mm, mm, mmmmmm... No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut, the wondrous deeds that went on in that little alpine hut. Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps. For the curious ways of the yodeling veterinarian of the alps. Woooahh-ooh...''

Pa Grape: Good news on the penguin, doc: He's up and kicking.

Kitty: Meow.

Larry: ''This is a song, for your pregnant kitty. She's looking nauseous and a week past due, but if I sing to your pregnant kitty, she will feel better in a day or two. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-ye-dee yodel-eee-ooo.Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-aye-hoo. Yada-yada yada-yada ya-ga-doo!''

Kitty: Hiss!

Pa Grape: (to Bob) Jump in your car, dive into the city, buy a jug of milk for your nauseated kitty. (hands Bob a coupon for milk)

Quartet Singers: ''Mm, mm, mmmmmm... The practice grew, their profits flew until one fateful day, when the nurse who did assist the doc asked for a raise in pay. The doctor pondered this a while, sat back and scratched his scalp. Then said:''

Larry: No way, Hose!

Quartet Singers: ''To the nurse of the yodeling veterinarian of the alps. Woooah-ohh...''

Pa Grape: Good news on the kitty doc: She's feelin' great. Six kittens, named one after you.

Bear: Roar!

Larry: ''This is a song, for your bear-trapped teddy. He looks uncomfy, think I'd be too. But if I sing to your bear-trapped teddy, he will feel better in a day or two. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee o-layhee oly-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yaba-daba daba-doo!''

Bear: Roar! Roar-ah-ar-ah.

Pa Grape: Oh yeah. That'll work. He's good.

Bear: (Roaring continually through backround)

Larry: Yodel-leh-hee, yodel-leh-hoo! No, wait! This should work! ''Yodel-leh-hee, Yodel-leh-hoo, yodel-leh-hoo!! Ooo!! Yodel-hoo!!''

Quartet Singers: ''Mm, mm, mm, mmm... Now the moral of our story, it's the point we hope we've made: When you go a little loopy better keep your nurse well paid.''

Larry: (being chased by the bear) ''Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo! Yodel odle odle aye de aye de ooo-ooo-ooo!''

Quartet Singers: ''Wooah! Some would stand in silence, while some just scratched their scalps, for the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps.''

Larry: (still running from the bear) Yodel-hoo!

SpongeBob: Wow, that episode is great!

Squidward: Oh, nonsense! I bet you can't silly songs forever.

SpongeBob: [realizes something] Excuse me a minute. [he walks up to a rotary telephone and dials it, Patrick appears lazily sitting on his couch when his own phone rings]

Patrick: [answers it] Star... residence. Patrick speaking.

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.

Patrick: Hey, buddy! Is it 7:30 already?

SpongeBob: No, I'm still at work. Patrick: How can I help you?

SpongeBob: Do you think that I get Silly Songs back to Larry?

Patrick: [mouth full with popcorn] Well, of course you can.

SpongeBob: Okay, great, thanks, Patrick.